


Parallel

by Metztlii_K



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Friendship/Love, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 04:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7085467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metztlii_K/pseuds/Metztlii_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jongin is no artist, but he paints Sehun's world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parallel

**Author's Note:**

> This includes themes that may be triggering. Please do not read or stop if you are uncomfortable.  
> 

**_depression_ ** __  
_ noun _ __  
_ 1. _ __  
_ feelings of severe despondency and dejection. _ _  
_ __ "self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression"

 

\---

 

Sehun can’t remember a moment in the day that more beautiful than this. 

The aching pain in his heart slowly dulled away, overtaken by the physical pain of torn flesh. Sparkling rubies decorated the fresh crimson streak on the inside of his wrist, yet the fleeting beauty would soon be replaced with an ugly, angry red with a touch of black and itch. 

But right now, the fresh droplets were the most beautiful thing he saw today. Physical pain was much easier to deal with than emotional: clean the wound, slap on some ointment with a band-aid on top would ensure no scars. Sehun wished that the cuts in his heart would heal as well, except there weren’t many occasions where he physically needed stitches, and maybe his heart was barely held together by stitches. 

New school, new day, new life tomorrow, as his father as said. Sehun laughed, the empty sound bouncing off flecking paint on walls. 

Grey. 

Sehun grew accustomed long ago. With the last breath his mother took, Death took her under its black wings, stealing the colours away from the boy’s world in the process. Grief and despair, already poisoned seeds buried deep in his mind took to the trauma like plants to water, nurturing into a nightmarish creature that took residence and refused to leave. It whispered and growled and snarled at every mistake Sehun made until the once sunny boy with sun-bleached hair became a shivering shell, skin paler than milk. 

_ Pathetic thing. You will never find your place in this school. Everyone hates you.  _

Sehun made the mistake of glancing up into the bathroom mirror: a hollow skeleton draped in the thinnest rags of skin stared back, nothing but darkness and pain swimming in the depths of black eyes. 

“Sehun, time for dinner.” 

His father knocked softly on the bathroom door against Sehun’s back. Sehun peeled himself off the door and opened it a crack, poking his head out. Sehun’s father looked at his broken wrist for a few seconds, before casting his eyes to the ceiling, eyes hopeless but at the same time beseeching. He closed his eyes, sighed deeply before turning around and walking down the hallway to the living room. 

“I’ll bring your food to your room.” 

Sehun nodded mutely, even though his father can’t see. He flashed back to the first time his father tried to help. Of course, his father was beyond shocked and had yelled harsh words at his son, before coming to his sense and hugging Sehun tightly, crying and apologising. Counselling didn’t help at all, and with each passing day, Sehun watched the life drain out of his father like his blood trickling down to the bathroom tiles. 

“What do you want me to do the most?” his father asked. 

“Leave me alone.” 

And he did. 

His father began working long hours, only coming home to sleep before setting off very early in the morning. Sehun admired his father’s way of dealing with the grief and sadness, and eventually his father changed, and fell in love with another woman. He proposed for Sehun to move in with her. 

That was when the blade started marking the inside of his wrist. 

The first time Sehun’s father asked, Sehun screamed so loudly, profanities coming out of him in a word vomit. Then he pulled out the crafts blade, and shredded his skin. 

That night, he woke up in emergency, and his father never said anything again. 

 

\---

School was bigger and greyer than he imagined. 

Before he lost his colours, he had attended a small school the colour of sun rays, grass, freshly printed paper, horrible cafeteria food and lousy lunches. 

This school was grey, the grey of shallow complaints about a not obedient strand of hair, fed up teachers, disinterested students, incomplete homework. Tucking himself further into his black hoodie, Sehun lowered his head and braced himself, before walking into the blizzard that is a school. 

Thankfully, he made it inside without attracting much attention. He found the principal’s office quickly, and asked for directions. 

“Oh sure! I’ll take you on a tour before going to class, alright?” 

The principal was too loud, but Sehun shook his head anyway. He just wanted to get to class as soon as possible, and melt into the backdrop. 

“Alrighty. I won’t push you. Your homeroom teacher will arrange you a buddy to look after you.” the principal relented, and Sehun nodded in thanks. 

 

“Here’s our new student!” 

The teacher waddled over in her heels, and with a firm grip on Sehun’s arm, dragged him to the front of the class. 

“This is...let’s see...Oh Sehun! Make him feel welcome, and don’t you dare pull any pranks as a ‘welcome ritual’, Kim Jongdae. I see that smile. Byun Baekhyun you are not going to encourage him and  **Park Chanyeol get your ass and those long legs under the table.** ”

Sehun jumped when she raised her voice, and the half-hearted greeting from the class didn’t help at all. 

“Would anyone like to volunteer to take Sehunnie under their wings for just a day, and show him around the school?” to Sehun’s suprise, several people put their hand up. But there was one that caught his eye. 

It had colour. 

It was sun-kissed tan, and Sehun’s eyes widened when he could see the different coloured shadows on the lazily, almost reluctantly raised arm caused by the grey sunlight. Sehun shuffled over so he could see the owner. 

“Jongin, how nice of you!” 

The class snickered and the girls squealed when Jongin stood up, waving the arm with  _ colour _ in a casual gesture of hello. 

Sehun sucked in a breath. 

“Go sit next to him, dear,” the teacher pushed his back gently, and his legs walked him down the aisle before standing right in front of the boy, fascinated by the bit of colour on him. Jongin raised an eyebrow. 

“H-Hello,” Sehun muttered, before collapsing into his chair and slumping forward, trying to deal with the shock. 

“Well…” the mischievous guy, Jongdae, turned backwards and poked Sehun’s nose with a pen. Sehun scowled, pulling his hoodie down to cover his whole face. 

The teacher called for Jongdae’s attention, and the drone of the teacher lulled Sehun into a trance, daydreaming about a stifling summer vacation, of soft sand and a pair of sun-kissed arms.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_Therapy_ **

_ noun _

_ 1\. treatment intended to relieve or heal a disorder. _

  
  


Sehun’s head spun, darkness creeping into the corners of his vision, making students appear out of dark space, chattering with their friends and holding trays of food. Sehun gaped, like a fish out of water.

“Are you alright?”

Jongin’s arm reached up and accidently brushed the inside of Sehun’s wrist. Sehun hissed, the sudden contact making the day-old cuts blossom into a scarlet stream again.

“Sorry…” Jongin huffed, almost impatiently, and the monster inside Sehun hissed again, dark, poisoned words seeping into his bloodstream.

_ No one likes you, stupid. Keep quiet and use that brain-to-mouth filter before you make another sound. _

Sehun bit back a whimper and trailed after Jongin, who shone brighter than the sun.

 

\---

“What do you have after lunch, Sehun?”

Baekhyun slammed his tray on to the table, making Sehun jump. He flinched at the noise and the question, while his brain went into overdrive, trying to formulate a response that wouldn’t humiliate him. Many told Sehun that he was being oversensitive, but he can’t afford to make any more mistakes. So Sehun’s mouth opened, but closed when no sound came out.

“Sehun, you’re not a mute, are you?” the tall guy ‘with the long legs’, Chanyeol, folded himself under the table and laughed. Baekhyun joined in.

Sehun’s face started burning with shame.

Less than 24 hours and he managed to make a stupid reputation.

“Stop.”

They instantly shut up, hyena-like laughs cut off suddenly and Jongin pulled Sehun up to walk out of the cafe, ignoring bewildered stares.

 

\---

“Spill.”

Sehun looked up from under his dirty blond bangs. The hood of his jacket fell backwards when they dramatically exited the cafe. After briskly walking down endless hallways, Jongin turned around abruptly and pushed Sehun against the wall, while leaning back on to the whitewashed bricks himself, reaching into his pockets.

“Spill, Sehun.”

The impact against the bricks knocked the breath out of Sehun, and judging from the pain, it probably bruised. Jongin stared at him intensely, dark, smoky threatening to pry open the ugly scars, and rip off the hasty stitches Sehun sew on himself trying to pretend that he was functional.

“I…”  _ Shut up, you imbecile. Stop bothering everyone with your own problems _ .

“Oh Sehun.”

“I-”  _ Worthless thing he is probably the most popular boy in the school. Who are you, trying to talk to him? _

Silence.

With a sigh that matches Sehun’s father, Jongin looked down at the ground, before gracefully peeling himself off the wall and stretched like a cat. Sehun’s eyes were instantly caught by the flash of colour when the shirt rode up.

“What’s wrong?” Jongin frowned when he saw Sehun’s stare.

“N-nothing,” but Sehun couldn’t peel his eyes off where the colour was. It was a shade lighter than Jongin’s sun-kissed arm, but it was still a beautiful colour, one of roaring blue waves and stars in an unpolluted, night sky.

“You like my skin colour, don’t you?” Sehun could  _ feel _ Jongin’s smirk as a wandering finger traced the help of his shirt. Sehun sucked in a breath unconsciously, before looking away.

_ Pervert. Disgusting. Unworthy. Dirty. Uncle- _

Sehun’s train of thought braked hard when Jongin stepped forward and touched the corner of Sehun’s eyes with his tanned hand. He gasped, the colour from his fingers spreading further up his arm, past his biceps and peeked through the colour of his neck. The colour danced up Jongin’s clavicles, before brushing his well-defined jaw.

It was the most beautiful colour Sehun has ever seen.

“You act like you saw colour for the first time,” Jongin joked, his laughter turning his eyes into crescents. Sehun bit his lip so hard he tasted blood when Jongin’s eyes opened again, back into his intense stare with eyes...the colour of melted chocolate on a warm, sunny day.

“You have really pretty eyes.” Sehun managed, releasing his abused lip from his teeth. Jongin’s eyes followed the movement, before answering, “took you long enough to realise.”

Sehun frowned, before reaching out his own pale hand, bland and white in comparison to Jongin’s colour.

_ Stop. Why are you touching him?  _

Sehun’s hand shrank away in fear, but Jongin caught it midway.

“This,” Jongin whispered, and Sehun felt the wall press up into his bony back, almost forcing him into Jongin’s warmth when he inched in, knees almost touching, “you can feel, right?”

Jongin’s face burned under Sehun’s icy fingers. The fire licked at him, scorching Sehun, but he endeavoured, and Jongin leaned into Sehun as shaking fingers brushed protruding cheekbones.

All while, Jongin’s beautiful eyes watched Sehun with fascination, and with each breath, Jongin was breathing life back into Sehun.

By the time the lunch bell rang, signaling the start of period five, Sehun has traced Jongin’s face multiple times, easily committing it to memory.

“Thank you,” Sehun whispered, before allowing himself to be pulled by Jongin’s bronze arm. Sehun finally allowed his suppressed lips to curl into a small smile as he watched Jongin’s brunette hair ruffle in the wind.

 

\---

Sehun stared at the blade in his hand, sharp edge glistening in the sun. But it was a dull grey. 

_ Grey. That’s your colour. That’s where you belong.  _

With a furious yell, Sehun dragged it across already blemished skin. But when the blood came out grey, instead of its usual vibrance. Jongin’s bright, brown eyes flashed before Sehun’s own, and Sehun cursed as he hastily picked himself up, washing the blood off the knife and his arm. 

_ “You have really beautiful skin,” Sehun had said, while tracing Jongin’s features.  _

_ “I think yours is prettier, to be honest. Everyone teases me for my darkness,” Jongin had replied, his own hand moving from the corner of Sehun’s eyes to a random point on Sehun’s cheek.   _

“Stupid scars,” Sehun scowled, before realising what he had said. His head snapped up to look into the mirror. 

Sehun’s jaw dropped. 

The boy in the mirror had streaks of skin-coloured white on his face, akin to meteor showers on a grey sky. 

  
  


 

 

 

 

 

**_Rehabilitation_ ** __  
_ noun _ __  
_  
_ __ 1 The action of restoring someone to health or normal life through training and therapy after imprisonment, addiction, or illness

 

\---

 

When Sehun was young, he would often watch television with his mum, preferably curled up in her lap. She would run her long fingers through his hair, sighing about the perfect love comedy on the screen. 

_ “Sehun, one day you will meet someone who makes you see the world a whole new way,” she said.  _

_ “How?” Sehun was confused, after all, he was still kind of young and the world was half-filled with unnamed objects.  _

_ “Being with them would be like wearing a pair of glasses, because suddenly the world comes into focus, and every little thing is suddenly blessed with a meaning,” she smiled fondly.  _

 

\---

Sehun hated being the overachiever. In his old school, he was constantly bullied because of his high marks. There was not a single paper below 90, thus earning him first in the grade. But there was not a day where he wouldn’t fall from the high ranking and into the dirt when the smarter jocks, or decently intelligent popular people needed a person to blame for their own marks. 

So he started to fail on purpose. 

Within a week his marks dropped from 90 plus to barely scraping a C. It drew less attention from fellow peers, instead caught the concern of his teachers. His teachers tried to contact Sehun’s parents, but he knew his father cannot, and will not care. 

_ “We expect good marks at this school, Oh Sehun. We accepted you because of your previous marks, and you show a lot of potential,”  _ the principal had said, his loud voice booming, the colour of purple bruises and dried blood. 

_ Don’t stand out, Sehun. You will loose everything for marks that mean nothing.  _

 

“Sehunnnn~” 

A voice pulled Sehun out of his thoughts and he absently swatted the calculator being waved in front of him. 

“What do you want?” Slowly, Sehun began to focus on the figure sitting cross-legged on his bed. Jongin chewed his pencil, brown eyes wide with concern. 

“What’s uh...this?” Jongin lifted his exercise book, pointing at a neatly written question. 

“Intercept Theorem.”

“What’s that?”

“Do you listen in class?” Sehun snapped, before panicking slightly. He might have ruined his only friendship and this school, and if word gets out on how much of a shit Sehun is, he might never have friends. 

To his relief, Jongin merely shrugged. 

“I learn more from the clouds outside than from that teacher.” 

Exasperated, Sehun shuffled next to Jongin, so close that he can feel the tan boy’s body heat. 

“If two transversals cross three parallel lines, then the ratio of the intercepts on one transversal is the same as the ratio of the intercepts on the other transversals,” Sehun read out from his own notebook. 

“And what the hell does that mean?”

“It means that this, and this are equal in ratio. This is three, and that is one, so on the other side, y would be 6 to match the equal ratio.” 

“Sehun, I have no idea what that meant, but you are a genius.” Jongin chuckled, before quickly jotting the answer down. 

“Why are they the same ratio?” Jongin looked up at Sehun, eyes shining like a puppy. 

"Parallel lines can travel very closely together into infinity, never meeting because they always maintain equal distances apart."    
"That's kind of sad how they spend forever together but can never cross."   
"But other lines meet at a point then drift apart, and isn't that even sadder?"

Jongin looked out the window, seeing colours that Sehun cannot see. 

“What if they meet?” 

“They can’t, Jongin. Once they meet they won’t be parallel lines anymore.” 

“Why can’t they be so close together that they touch?” 

“That’s no longer two lines. That’s one.” 

_ Alone. All alone.  _

  
  
  


 

 

 

**_Relapse_ ** __  
_ verb _ __  
_ 1. _ _  
_ __ (of a sick or injured person) deteriorate after a period of improvement.

\---

 

“Oh Sehun?” 

Sehun snapped out of his daze, his name accentuated with the jab of a pen on the back of his neck. Sehun scowled, before realising that the class was completely quiet and focused on something on their test. 

“Are you finished?” the teacher asked, her smile grey but also piercing, almost like white noise. 

“Um, no, miss,” Sehun ducked his head, ignoring a few snickers. 

But Sehun didn’t miss the concerned look from Jongin, brunette hair almost silver blonde in the sun.

  
  
  


“Are you alright?” 

The question was drowned out by the noise in the cafeteria, but somehow Sehun caught it. After all, there was nothing softer, or louder, than his own thoughts. 

“Yeah,” but Jongin’s hand wandered and stubbornly wiggled under Sehun’s palm, entwining their fingers. 

“Did you finish the test in the end?” Baekhyun walked to their table, clutching the tray in one hand and pulling a waving and apologetic sounding Jongdae in the other. Sehun was mildly impressed by how Baekhyun could control both at the same time. 

“I think so,” Sehun shrugged nonchalantly, noticing the way Jongdae was seizing how close Jongin and Sehun was sitting, shoulders touching. 

_ Why are you touching him. _

Sehun jolted, letting go of Jongin. 

“You alright?” Baekhyun had set down his tray, one arm going around Jongdae’s shoulder. Jongdae leaned in the way couples fold into each other, and Sehun relaxed. 

_ Just because they are doing it, doesn’t mean you can do it _ . 

Sehun suddenly lost appetite for his lunch, a wave of nausea washing over his being. Even though the last time such an episode hit was his first lunch at this school, and having Jongin near definitely helped, Sehun’s old nightmares began resurfacing, crushing what little self-esteem Jongin had help him build up. 

_ Worthless. You are forever below them. They are dating to rub it in your face, because the one you like will never return your affection.  _

Each word tied down his heart, not allowing it to beat, not allowing him to function as a human. What little colour Sehun managed to paint back into his world faded with every blink, and Sehun had to blink rapidly to stop tears from falling. 

_ The end will suit you better. Even hell would not want you.  _

Adrenaline surged through Sehun, and his fingers started shaking uncontrollably. He started panicking at the erratic movement of his fingers, breathing increasing with each second his fingers were out of his control. Sehun felt everyone in the cafe staring. Judging. Talking. Whispering. The sound of the cafeteria smudged together to form a layer of opaque, obsidian black, impossible to break through. 

Sehun wanted to scream. But he can’t. Claws scraped his bare ankles, as his conscienous lost the fight to his nightmares. 

A long talon traced his jaguar, and punctured the thin skin on his neck. 

 

***

 

“Jesus christ, Sehun. Are you possessed?” 

Baekhyun’s voice was a light grey, the colour of a sad Schnauzer puppy. Sehun could practically hear Baekhyun whimper along with his next question. 

“Jongin’s coming back. He just went to get water, ok?”

The next few minutes were quiet, and Sehun drifted in and out of consciousness with the help of morphine. 

_ Wait, morphine? _

Sehun’s eyes fluttered open, and he took in the pristine, white-washed walls. The grey sunlight peeked through the blinds. 

An assort of machinery surrounded Sehun, and one of the machines started beeping rapidly. 

“Sehun, calm down!” Baekhyun panicked, just as a breathless Jongin crashed into the hospital room. Jongin practically lunged onto the bed, strong, tan hands clasping Sehun’s bony, pale ones. 

“I’m here. Don’t panic.” 

The beeping slowed down, and Baekhyun slumped into the chair he previously sat on with a dramatic sigh. 

“Stop trying to die on us, Sehun,” Jongdae entered the room as well, but his presence didn’t feel foreign anymore. For some reason, the three boys cramped in the small room didn’t suffocated Sehun. Instead, they felt like an abundance of oxygen. 

The voice inside was quiet, for the first time in years. Sehun’s face lit up in a miraculous smile. 

“That’s a prettier look than cardiac arrest, don’t you think?” Baekhyun’s fingers entwined with Jongdae’s and they looked at Sehun like he was their son. 

Or maybe they were just very proud. 

“You stopped breathing for 12 minutes, Sehun,” Jongin whispered into his ear, words trickling like honey, “I was so scared.” 

“Jongin freaked and with some superhuman power he carried you  _ bridal style _ ,” Jongdae and Baekhyun said “bridal style” in sync, and Sehun blushed, looking into Jongin’s chocolate eyes. 

“Thank you,” Sehun said quietly. The three spent the rest of the day placing bets on what useless stuff they would miss out on.

  
  
  


 

 

**__**

**_Antidote_ ** ****__  
_ noun _ _  
_ _ a medicine taken or given to counteract a particular poison. _

 

\---

After that incident, Sehun personally asked Jongin’s permission for skinship, and Jongin agreed without hesitation. 

“Are you sure?” Jongin merely shrugged, saying that it was completely normal for skinship between boys. 

“Jongdae and Baekhyun actually go overboard with that rule, so much that I call it PDA,” Jongin smirked, slipping his hands into his jean pockets. 

“What’s PDA?”

Jongin laughed incredulously, “are you serious?” 

“What?” Sehun casted him an undignified look. 

“Ok, ok. I’m going to explain, but don’t ask me to demonstrate,” there was a mischievous glint in his eyes, almost like he was daring Sehun to challenge what he just said. 

“But you want to demonstrate. You have that weird thing in your eye,” Sehun spoke his thoughts out loud, and it was Jongin’s turn to look undignified. 

“You won’t like it,” Jongin suddenly turned to face Sehun, smouldering brown eyes trapping Sehun in place even though they were walking in a park. But everything else was grey to Sehun. 

There was an awkward silence as Sehun raised one eyebrow, puzzled. 

“Stay there, and close your eyes,” Jongin breathed, and being the idiot Sehun was, he obeyed. 

It came so quickly Sehun almost missed it. 

Something touched his lips, but Sehun wouldn’t call it unpleasant. It was warm, and left a tingly feeling long after the contact. Out of instinct, Sehun gasped. The  _ thing _ latched itself on Sehun’s lower lip, sucking and nibbling softly. 

_??????????? _

“Oh my god,” Sehun jumped away to see a smirking Jongin, looking pleased with himself. 

Sehun covered his lips, knowing that he would never see Jongin’s lips the same way again. 

“I don’t live under a rock! I know what kissing is!” 

“Yell it louder, won’t you?” 

Nevertheless, Jongin tried to cover the distance Sehun had jumped in shock. Sehun held out a hand, and Jongin froze mid stride. 

“Um...I need some time…” Sehun tried to fan his face to stop the impending blush. Jongin merely smiled. 

“Alright. See you tomorrow then!” Jongin whistled a happy tune while waving his hand. The tanned skin blocking the yellow, almost white sun. 

_ Wait, what!? _

With wide eyes, Sehun looked around, turning in circles. 

The trees were green, the colour of spring and the grass was the colour of the lawn he played and fell on during his childhood. 

The sky was azure, thin clouds almost like the foam of waves on the sea on a summer day. 

Colour. 

Jongin painted his world with colour again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Simple fluff...can't fluff lol i'm destined to be a sad child  
> Spam @_MetZt_K prompts and random stuff.


End file.
